You are surfing posts written in October, 2008

31 Oct 2008
Categorized As: Hogzilla

31 Oct 2008
Categorized As: CarbKiller

In honor of Halloween I thought I’d suspend my intended blog for today to give you a math problem


Does NOT equal



It usually equals


In the meantime I’m going to revel in my day off from working out.


31 Oct 2008
Categorized As: Hogzilla, lunacy, running

So I can fly far, far away don’t have to run anymore.

Why did I think this was a good idea? If I had forgotten about the 76 extra pounds that I’ve been carrying around for a while, then I remembered them last night. If I had forgotten how much I hated running during my years as a basketball, softball and yes TRACK athlete…then I remembered last night.

Oh yes. I remembered. And I found myself begging for a dark cornerso I could curl up into the fetal position and cry myself to sleep.

But I did the training session…and then some.

My friends Birdrunner and Sandra have generously offered to meet with me 2 days a week to train. And I love them for that because when I know I’m meeting someone, I will go. If I’m left to my own devices, I’ll talk myself out of exercising more often than not.

Here’s the thing: both women are way ahead of me on the fitness scale. Sandra has 1 full marathon under her belt and 7 or 8 halfs. Birdrunner has done too many to count. And even if they say they need to lose a few (a very few) pounds, they are MILES ahead of me <–(see what I did there? Miles ahead? I’m so damn clever) in the training world. Seriously, their walking pace is faster than my ‘jogging’ pace. What I do is faux-jogging.

We did 3.8 miles last night. (can I round it up to 4 miles even?) I did the 30 minute Couch to 5K workout which wound up being 2 miles. (15 minute mile is pretty good to start out with for me) Then we walked back to the house with a jog or two sprinkled in there. Basically we did the 4 3.8 miles in under an hour which I felt pretty good about.

Even if my legs and feet were cussing up a storm. Along with my mouth.

I really liked the new Cto5K workout. The music was right up my alley. But every time Suz said ‘it’s time to run’ a ‘fuck off’ accidentally slipped out of my mouth. (no offense to Suz) Seriously. It hurt yesterday. Badly. But I did it.

And Birdrunner and Sandra were quite patient with me. They kept their pace which I would say was a 1/4+ mile ahead of me. When I would faux-jog I would inch closer to them, but by the time we were ‘briskly’ walking home, they pulled ahead of me again. Because brisk is how I like my tea, not my walking. Especially when I had just faux-jogged off and on for 30 minutes.

But I did it. I completed my first week of training. I think I’m going to have to move to a 4 day a week running schedule because I have so far to go. At this rate, I will NOT be able to run a 5K in December because I am struggling to run 60 seconds. I’m actually dreading next week’s increase, but hopefully I’ll get through it.

I REALLY want to do this. And I am proud of myself for getting through Week 1. But let me tell you, right now the idea of running 13 miles makes me want to chop my feet off. 13 seems impossible, since I was struggling so badly yesterday. Hell, running 1 mile seems impossible right now.

But to quote my favorite Space Ship Captain: Never give up. Never surrender.

31 Oct 2008
Categorized As: CarbKiller, lunacy

Short note about my workout, I did it. More running tomorrow. Meh.

In other news, I went to buy gas today. It was mostly an excuse to go to Target but hey there was a gas station right there so might as well, right? So I’m sitting at the Costco gas station waiting for the pump when I notice there is a new Panda Express across the street. SWEET!

At this point I’m starving and fast Chinese food sounds perfect. I have an addiction to Chow Mein noodles. My logic? I can eat fast and then go buy workout DVDs (see that’s healthy!). I love Target, it’s like an amusement park. I also really wanted to continue my book on CD so I sat in the car, relaxed, and ate my Panda Bowl.

As soon as I finished eating I grabbed the fortune cookie and my trash and headed towards Target. As a responsible anti-littering adult I opened the cookie on the way so I could toss the wrapper.

My fortune you ask?

Be Careful Not to Overspend

Be Careful Not to Overspend

Clearly Confusious never had a Target.

30 Oct 2008
Categorized As: CarbKiller

Do you feel you deserve a reward for surviving the longest election run-up in the history of the world? Well Krispy Kreme has your back (and your ass and thighs).

To steal a line from the ridiculously awesome movie Airplane! Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue eating donuts.

If anything I think Jose Cuervo should get in on this. We all deserve a free we-survived-the-election margarita.

30 Oct 2008
Categorized As: Hogzilla, lunacy, running

First of all, I feel great today. Seriously. By yesterday afternoon I wasn’t sore and had loads of energy. I’m waking up every morning, almost an hour before my alarm and I’m feeling RESTED. This is a good thing.

Also, I feel very good that I will NOT be running with a fanny pack, unlike SOME people I know...

My palBirdrunner has convinced me to sign up for the Jingle Bell Run here in Little Rock. It won’t be as cold as Fargo, ND … where our own Cinde is gonna be trotting away…but it won’t be warm here in Little Rock. Anyway, I don’t like cold and I don’t really like running, so this should be win-win for me. *rolling eyes*

I basically have 6 weeks to get ready. This is supposed to be a 9 week program. I bet I can take care of business…I know I can walk a 5K…my goal is to run it.

Snow Birds unite! In honor of our upcoming teeth chattering event, I give you: Snow Miser

This is from, hands down, THE VERY BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIE EVER TO BE CREATED: The Year Without a Santa Claus

It kicks Peanuts in the ass.


My BFF and Writing Pal Maria Geraci has her first book available for Pre-Order on Amazon. BUNCO BABES TELL ALL


30 Oct 2008
Categorized As: CarbKiller

Well, today was day two of my life as a road runner. (Oh how I miss my easy elliptical machine at the gym!) There is something liberating about…okay who am I kidding. Running still sucks. A lot. And if you’re like me you have the double-whammy. What better experience is there then huffing and puffing and dragging your fat butt all over Orange County then doing it in with airborne allergies.


I had to buy a freaking fanny pack to hold my Puffs Plus. Yes, I am one of THOSE women. The best part? in an attempt to save my ego I decided to go to REI and buy it from there. Oh my gosh you have to go look at them. They are all HUUUUGE. There were two that were bigger then my purse and my purse can hold a full size three ring binder. I couldn’t bring myself to buy one of those obviously.


And I really wanted one with a water bottle thing, something to hold snacks, a swiss army knife, a small flint and some matches in case I need to start a fire…and then I remembered why I don’t shop at REI. I never need this shit (CZ does not camp–see aforementioned comment about horrible airborne allergies). But that’s what happens to me at REI. I suddenly want things like a camp stove and snow shoes and rapelling harnesses. Oddly enough it’s like my Target problem but more expensive.


I was lucky this time, I was able to make it out of the store alive and with only my one little Jansport “waist pack.” The good news? It was the lightest one that could fit my phone, etc. It was also the cheapest one. The bad news? I’m fat and I’m running on the street, which sucks and if that’s not bad enough I’m doing it with a fanny pack. Really is it even POSSIBLE to live that down?

You know youre jealous.

You know you're jealous.

For the love of pete, tell me I’m not the only one!

29 Oct 2008
Categorized As: CarbKiller

I haven’t done anything yet. Haven’t run. Haven’t found my ipod charger, nothing. But days 1-3 have reminded me of muscle groups I haven’t identified since I took anatomy in college.

Anyone else relate to this picture today?

29 Oct 2008
Categorized As: Hogzilla, running

I’m sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now because my whole body feels like it has been put through a meat grinder. Will someone please bring me 3 Advil, then open my mouth and shove them down my throat for me? Kthxbai.

I met my friend at her house and we decided to just walk/run in her neighborhood. She said it was hilly. She did NOT say it was mountainous.

I didn’t do the 60/90/60 training last night because we walked at a fairly brisk pace (and by fairly brisk, I mean our walking pace was truly faster than my jogging pace) and there was no way I could’ve ‘jogged’ up any of those hills. No way in hell. However, I did run non-stop for a half mile. (so what if it was down hill? It was still a run.)

By the time I went to bed last night, I couldn’t move. Today, I’m actually a lot better. (Thank you, Advil!) I’m going to do a lot of stretching and see if I can find my old Yoga DVD (and thank you Barbara for that suggestion) to see if I can make this pain go away.

Until it does, I’ll be singing “Just put one foot in front of the other…”

I’ve heard over and over that the pain will go away eventually. I’m holding onto that belief like it is the holy grail…

BTW: I’m also blogging over at The Knight Agency blog today about Vampires if you guys wanna go check it out…

28 Oct 2008
Categorized As: CarbKiller

(Notice this is about Tuesday)

I am currently humming “The sun will come out tomorrow” from the musical Annie. I’m not as cute as the redhead kid with curly hair but I get the it has to get better then this, feeling. In spades.  

Today’s exercise in lunacy was a strategic error. I am not yet disciplined enough to start waking up at 6am to go workout but that day is coming. Why? Because I think I’d rather try the early-to-bed, early-to-rise strategy then run around like a demented chicken a hour and a half before I’m supposed to have dinner with my friends trying to figure out what my workout is going to be. My advice? Pre-plan y’all.

I am currently at my parent’s house. TaeBo *whimper* is at my house and I didn’t have time to go to Target with my list of FCR reader suggestions (thanks everyone!). So I had to make do with 30 minutes hitting tennis balls against a backboard. It’s amazing how satisfying it is to hear the repetitive *thud* of the ball hitting the backboard. And there is no better exercise then running like heck to get the ball when you miss a shot. It was actually pretty fun.

The other good news is that this was my first activitiy without music, or Billy Blanks shouting at me so I had time to think. I had time to consider. I had time to catalogue how my body is doing on this, day three, of my training extravaganza: I’m pretty sure my right pinky finger is doing just fine. The rest of me is a crap shoot.

Despite my clearly sadistic bent, I feel proud of myself. I went to a restaurant (Mmm Jerry’s Deli) had a half pastrami sandwhich and fries and then had a third or so of a red velvet cake. Did you notice how NONE of those things are even remotely healthy? They’re not even on the outskirts of the same dartboard as healthy. Notice how there wasn’t a single fruit or vegetable represented? SO why the hell am I proud of myself, you ask?

Because I realized it wasn’t worth it. Usually when I cheat on a diet I think ha! this is sooo much better then *insert diet food here* this time I didn’t really feel that way. Was the food good? Yes. Was it miraculous and worth having to add another hour of…TaeBo, for example? Hell, no!

And that my friends, is progress.

So today’s inventory? I stayed on the exercise wagon (barely), and I fell off the diet wagon (majorly) but on the whole none of those things discouraged me. If anything I’m still feeling fired up. So yes, the sun will come up tomorrow, and I’ll be ready for a new day. WOOT!

How did the rest of you do?