You are surfing posts written in October, 2008

28 Oct 2008
Categorized As: CarbKiller, lunacy

The Freaks at Prevention Magazine posted an article that caught my eye on Yahoo!’s mainpage.

The title is “14 Surprising Signs You’ll Live Longer Than You Think”  

  1. Your Mom Had You Young – Lovely, we just got started and I’m failing already and my kids (if I have them) are pretty much screwed too.

  2. You’re a Tea Lover- This is true actually but I don’t drink it very often

  3. You’d Rather Walk – Um…isn’t that why we’re all here?

  4. You Skip Soda (Even Diet)- I do now but I drank my weight in syrupy carbonated Diet Coke gold before I quit.

  5. You Have Strong Legs – I thought I did before that sadistic bastard Billy Blanks proved otherwise

  6. You Eat Purple Food – I do like blueberries but abso-freaking-lutely hate wine (they mention drinking red). I hate it. If I’m somewhere snooty or with someone I don’t want to offend I will drink it. But I’m holding my breath. HZ is crying out in horror as she reads that.

  7. You Were a Healthy-Weight Teen – Woot I’m okay here!

  8. You Don’t Like Burgers – Hello? Southern California is the Mecca of In-N-Out! Are these people serious?

  9. You’ve Been a College Freshman – I have and since that’s pretty much where my weight problems started I’m thinking it’s not as awesome as these people think.

  10. You Really Like Your Friends… – I do actually, they’re lovely people.

  11. …and They’re Healthy – Hmmm, how about if we’re all getting healthy. That counts right?

  12. You Embrace New Challenges – HELL YEAH! Finally a homerun!

  13. You Don’t Have a Housekeeper – This one makes me laugh. Doesn’t it imply that just because I don’t have a housekeeper that means *I* am doing the housekeeping. Suuuure.

  14. You’re a Flourisher- What the heck is a flourisher? Goes to look Ahhh basically it means are you an optimist. Apparently I am because I just threw my entire weight/diet/exercise obsession on the internet so people can read and comment. You’d have to be a nut job an optimist to do that right? RIGHT?!!!

I got less then half and I took off a half point for being a recovering Diet Coke junkie.

How about you all?

28 Oct 2008
Categorized As: Hogzilla, running

Found another Fat Ass to 5K Couch to 5K podcast. For some reason her podcast on iTunes wasn’t updating but I read her note that sent me to her website and BAM! new podcasts! You can Right Click on the podcasts and save them to your computer and add them to your MP3 player that way.

Inside the Mind of Suz Couch to 5K Podcast

The first few weeks are hip hop, next few are teeny bop, then we have some 80s [*applause*] Anyway, it seems to be a good mix so go check her out if you’re looking for some podcasts to train by.

I do my 2nd run tonight. This time we’ll have hills. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, you’ll know I lost the battle at Butt-buster Hill.

28 Oct 2008
Categorized As: Hogzilla
  • I gave up booze for better training results…however the more I train, the more I really want a damn drink.
  • I bought shoes that cost a vital organ small fortune to help me walk/run better. The shoe lady failed to tell me that the reason I will stop walking/running on the outside of my feet is because after wearing the new shoes, the outsides of my feet now feel like they’ve been used by Barry Bonds for batting practice.
  • The more I exercise, the more my creativity will be stimulated. Sadly, my imagination may be going strong, but it hurts to type. (I’m dictating this to my secretary. Promise)
  • In theory the more I exercise the better I should sleep. This theory does not account for two things: A: rolling over B: hydration.  Every time I roll over, my butt yells at me. Then as soon as I fall back to sleep my bladder yells at me.
  • Running will help me lose weight. However, the more I run, the hungrier I am, which means the more I eat, the fatter I get. Oh it’s a vicious cycle.

These are small things to contend with…but seriously, I could use a beer. Or two. Three max.

28 Oct 2008
Categorized As: CarbKiller

Note to self: do not start new workout regimen with Billy Blanks’s TaeBo for Beginners (Beginners, my ass). The good news is my knees did not buckle on my run, the bad news is I got in my car after my run and immediately went out to buy breakfast. I don’t think I’ll be able to get out of bed without it tomorrow.

In other news I had a delighful run/walk/run. I did actually run, I don’t think they’ll be using me as a slowmotion extra for the next Baywatch movie but I don’t think I embarassed myself. Ah well, Yasmine Bleeth will just have to do her own stunts.

I’d like to thank Mel for finding the running mix. I can just picture myself frantically running, trying to use my heart rate monitor, listen to music and do math both adding and subtracting to figure out 60 and 90 minute increments. It saved me a great deal of humiliation frustration.

In other news I’d like to send out a call for workout videos. I know many of you have favorites, I’d love to know what they are. I’m a video newbie, the only one I have is TaeBo.

I also (of course) want cautionary tales of what not to do. For example is yoga going to kick my ass too frustrate me as well? Help!

27 Oct 2008
Categorized As: CarbKiller

Yes, I’m a girl. I am, however, by no stretch of the imagination a girly girl. Case in point? HZ was hoping for cute pink running shoes. I was so determined to buy blue I ended up in the guy’s section (That and I have boat feet). Did I ever wish I was a Disney princess? No. Did I ever play with Barbies as a kid? No. Do I leave the house without makeup on? All the time. My standard outfit is jeans, a tshirt and flipflops. The great irony there is I suspect even when I finally shed the weight I’m still going to live in jeans, a tshirt and flipflops, just in smaller sizes.

So someone tell me why THIS seems so intriguing. I think it’s the sparkly tiaras.

Oh and the other irony? It’s first week of March so it would be the perfect half marathon for me, too bad it’s in Florida.

In other news, I still don’t have a marathon chosen. It turns out if I run the Huntington Beach (Surf City) half marathon in February I can help THIS cause. Why am I so desperate to run for a cause, you ask? Well because I like helping people. I’m also a whiner and when it comes to working out I have a history of being something of a quitter. I figure I’d feel like such a jerk taking money away from dogs or the needy I’d tough it out.

I’ll admit I thought Connie was insane when she suggested I do both the half marathon on Feb 1st and the 5k on the 16th. Now I’m seriously considering it, but perhaps I should make it through my first week of couch to 5k before I commit to that kind of insanity.

27 Oct 2008
Categorized As: Hogzilla, lunacy

Of the fucking truck that ran my ass over in the middle of the night?

Unholy hell on a stick. I’m sore. And I certainly don’t mean ‘wind beneath your wings’ kinda soar…I mean crushed by a monster truck kinda sore. I can’t even imagine what I’m going to feel like when I actually run at a pace faster than shuffle.

Is it going to feel like this every morning after?

After my coffee (I may give be giving up carbonated drinks and liquid gold (beer) but I will NOT give up my morning cuppa) I took Pigzilla the 2nd to school then came back to the house to do my Pilates DVD.

I haven’t done Pilates in about 5 years. I have 2 dvds. Today I did the beginning 15 minute workout with my “Magic Circle.” (Magic Circle my ass. I’m still fat. False advertising!) It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t really that challenging. I may have to buy a different ‘circle’ workout dvd. I’m not quite ready to move into

This 'magic circle' needs more pixie dust.

This magic circle needs more pixie dust.

my hour long pilates session, but I need more than what the Danskin not so Magic Circle offers

Of course, I may be singing a different song tomorrow when I can’t get out of bed.



26 Oct 2008
Categorized As: CarbKiller

My crackberry failed me. Apparently when they were designing the blackberry it never occurred to them that a gal on the go like me might want to post blog comments. I found myself trying to post responses to comments and I was totally locked out. (Either that or I have the settings wrong I’ll have to figure that out later). Anyway, I spent the weekend at a real estate investing seminar and didn’t get a chance to jump in and post comments. Sorry!

That wasn’t the only bummer. I learned a lot, met some great people (including a really cute firefighter) but by the time I got home daylight was a fond memory. That was fine on Friday and Saturday when I was *resting* in anticipation of the glorious launch of my running extravaganza. Today it was not okay. I stood outside on my Los Angeles street in the dark and thought am I insane? So I did what any self-respecting female without a black belt in karate or gun/knife/cattle prod would do. I went to the little gym in my complex.

I was stoked. I was pumped. I was psyched. I was every kind of 80s and 90s slang that I really should give up but don’t.

Now ordinarily I would say running is about as much fun as stepping in brown stuff. HZ’s blog however motivated me. The itunes playlist helped her achieve workout awesomeness so I decided I was going to rock out too. One problem. If running is bad, then running intervals on a treadmill is the worst. The WORST.

Picture me nice and overweight on a treadmill. Happily listening to my playlist. It says walk and I happily move along at 3.4 mph. This is not a slow pace but not exactly speedwalking. Probably on the second rotation of the belt I notice there is a little tear in the belt of the treadmill. I typically trip over my own feet so I have to be very careful of stuff like that. Good to know.

So I’m warming up along with the playlist when the magical voice says “run.” HUH? I’m frantically hitting the up arrow until the speed is at least 4.2 so I can lengthen my stride. At the same time I’m desperately trying to stay away from the torn treadmill spot. Just as the piece of &#% gets up to 4.2 and my stride evens out I trip, barely catching myself on the handy dandy bars that surely must have been created just for this reason. So there I am clutching the handrails trying desperately to stay upright as the belt madly rotates as the soothing podcast voice tells me to walk again.  Bite me!

I would like to report that today’s victory was that I didn’t quit. Well okay, I actually *did* quit. I turned off the cheap treadmill from hell. But did I QUIT quit? No. I decided that HZ and I are going to have opposite schedules. I run on the days she doesn’t and she runs on the days I do other stuff. I hauled my butt back over to my apartment and excavated, dusted off and then turned on Billy Blanks TaeBo DVD. I’d like to tell you it was fantastic and empowering but I can only type with one finger so I’ll leave that to your imagination.

In the meantime I think running is actually going to be easy tomorrow.

If I’m not in traction.

26 Oct 2008
Categorized As: Hogzilla, running

I loaded a hip-hop Couch-to-5K podcast onto my iPod this morning. (Zach Snyder put it together on iTunes) I took it with me to the soccer tournament and decided to run after the game was over.

It was a beautiful day. Actually got a little warm, but the sky was that perfect blue with little puffs of clouds. This would’ve been a scene right out of a Disney flick if there had been bluebirds singing and the seven dwarfs whistling. Oh, and if I had been a skinny bitch being swooped up by some hot guy in tights on horseback.

I stretched to Hall & Oates Say It Isn’t So. I corrected them and said it most certainly was so. Today is Day 1 dammit! I am going to run!

After stretching, I clicked play for the podcast and started my warm up walk to the Black Eyed Peas Let’s Get It Started. That was a great song to warm up to. I’ll admit, with the music flowing through my veins, I was tempted to just skip the warm up and get right to the run. But no. I want to succeed at this venture and I know the best way to do that is follow the instructions.

Unfortunately, I’m not very good at following any rules, but I fought my oppositional nature and listened to the voice cues.

60 Run. 90 Walk. 60 Run. 90 Walk. I tell ya, this podcast thing is the way to go. I didn’t have to look at my watch once. BTW, there really isn’t that much difference between my ‘walking’ and my ‘running’ pace. The only give away that I was actually running, were my boobs. I wore the wrong bra today. The girls were juggling like they were the main act at the circus.

The path I chose snaked along the banks of the Arkansas River. I noticed as I ran that several turtles popped out of the river and turned toward me. I began to count the turtles. I stopped counting when I got to ten.

They had found a kindred spirit. I am the Pied Piper of turtles. Slow and steady wins the race. Right?

As the turtles watched, I trudged on. I never once felt short of breath or tired. I just kept on with my 60 Run. 90 Walk. 60 Run. 90 Walk. and then suddenly, the voice in my ear said, “Congratulations! Your run is complete! It’s time to cool down.”

No way.

Yes WAY!

I did it. And I didn’t even die. Awesome.

Tomorrow–Pilates. That should be fun to watch.

26 Oct 2008
Categorized As: CarbKiller, lunacy, running, Survey

I. Am. Stuck.

Three days ago I was 100% ready to face off against the Los Angeles Half Marathon in Feb 2009. Turns out Feb doesn’t have a Half Marathon so now I’m a wannabe runner without a goal. I need a goal. But there are so many options. Who knew there were this many zillion Marathons in Southern California? I sure as heck didn’t!

What I really want is to do the Marine Corps Marathon series. So many hot guys, so little time! I’d only have the hotness for the first five or ten minutes of the race, though. Then all the guys would find their rhythm and smoke my pace leaving me with no eye candy with 26 miles to go. Um…pass.

So other options are listed HERE (and believe it or not those aren’t even all the marathons in Southern California!)

I think I’ve narrowed it down to several options.

Things to consider first.

1) According to my conversation at the runner’s store it takes 6 months to get fit enough to run a half marathon. I am not currently fit. And I’m a whiner so I’m going to need all the time I can get.

2) HZ turns 40 in March and even though I really want to run the half marathon in May that would leave her all by her lonesome as guinea pig for the first race. That doesn’t seem fair so in the spirit of blogging sisterhood I’m going to try to find something Feb/March-ish.

3) I’m pretty sure I could do a half marathon in March if I push myself. There just aren’t any near me.

So what do I do? I have no idea so this is where you all vote. Choose one of the following options and explain your logic. I haven’t figured out how to set up a survey on the blog yet. (sorry)


1) Sign up for the Surf City Half Marathon Feb 1st even though that gives me about three months to train and I’ve been warned it could take six.

2) Sign up for the Surf City 5K on Feb 1st because by then I will have completed couch to 5K.

3) Sign up for the Rover Rescue! The caption reads: Run/Walk the Los Angeles Marathon or 5K in support of Rover Rescue. Help save the lives of homeless dogs! I am a total doglover and that would be awesome motivation. Date  Feb. 16. So I can’t run the half marathon because it doesn’t exist but I could do the 5K!

What would you do if you were me?

25 Oct 2008
Categorized As: gear, Hogzilla, running

Today, I’m wearing my hot pink iPod with a brand new podcast…

A couch to 5K podcast.

Oh yeah, they exist. Some very smart people have put together various podcasts with music and signals when it’s time to ‘walk’ and when it’s time to ‘run.’

How awesome is that?

Just google ‘couch to 5K podcast’ and see what you get. I found Robert Ullrey on iTunes. His story is similar to mine. He turned 43 and decided to start running so he’s using the same program from that CK and I are using. I also did a search on iTunes to see if I could find other couch to 5K programs and I found one without music (you can add your own if you want) and I found one with 80s music (be still my heart) and another one with various music. So I shouldn’t be bored as I start this new venture.

paid for with blood and a vital organ

paid for with blood and a vital organ

I’m also wearing new shoes. Yesterday I broke the bank and purchased a pair of New Balance 1062s. Gone are the days where I walk into a store and say: “Oh sparkly! And lime green! I’ll take them!” Nope. Now I must walk for the person and show them that I hit on my heels and walk on the outside of my foot. And now I must wear ‘neutral’ cushioned shoes which will help stabilize my gait. (I really wish they were hot pink or lime green though. Dear New Balance…take note.)

Julia was very nice at the New Balance store in Little Rock. She didn’t even laugh when I told her I was planning to start training for a half-marathon. (Honestly, I laugh a little every time I type it…) She even asked me to keep her posted on my progress. I told her to come to this website, she’d get all the updates she could ever possibly want.

So here I am. T-minus 1 day. I got my booze and chili on last night like I promised. I even recruited a couple of girlfriends to walk with me. And my friend Sandra has already promised to do the half-marathon with me. And my Texas pal and writer gal Laura is thinking about signing up do to the LR Marathon as well.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a movement.