You are surfing posts written on February 7th, 2009

7 Feb 2009
Categorized As: diet, Hogzilla, running

Funny how CK is trying to blame me for her CA Marathon Medal obsession. All I did was call her and kevetch about being a lazy ass while all these people were running around me and decided right then I should train for a marathon. CK is the one who jumped all in and decided to do it with me. I said in my comments that I could totally blame her because if she hadn’t jumped on my insanity bandwagon, I totally would’ve quit by now.

So really, this is her fault.

I feel so much better now that we’ve established the real truth…

So I briefly mentioned yesterday in one of my posts that I met with one of the personal trainers at the gym for some advice on how to jumpstart the loss again. I always do this, I plateau in a major way somewhere between 10-15 lbs. I am still hanging in at 13 lbs…but I’m fluctuating…Up 2, down 2, up 2, down 2. I can’t get my next reward CD (which I’ve decided is going to be 3 Doors Down: Seveteen Days) if I don’t lose 2 lbs…or depending on the fluctuation, 4 lbs. Sigh.

Last week hurt me. I really didn’t pay attention to anything I put in my mouth. Okay, I take that back, I paid very close attention to all the pizza rolls, cheese dip, chips, etc as I inhaled them. I also was drinking Coke Zero like it was my lifeblood. Haven’t done that in forever. I was swolled up like road kill by Monday. Very bad Hogzilla. (actually, I believe I became my name…)

Cute Little Trainer Boy suggested that I change up my workout routine some. Continue doing the weights 3 days a week, and continue doing 4-5 days of cardio, but on 2 of those days, to do 30 minutes of High Intensity Interval Training. Walk 2 minutes, Sprint 1 minute. Or do 1 and 1…

Okay, I’m gonna give it the old college try, but here’s the thing, when I’m on a treadmill, I sound like a herd of rhinos charging a caravan of tourists. Now, that’s at my measley 4.2 mph pace. Let’s speed me up to 7 mph and see what I sound like, shall we? Yes, that would be a herd of rhinos and elephants charging the helpless tourists.

Here is our conversation:

Me: Um. I don’t like the way I sound when I run on the treadmill. I’m a clomper.

Cute Little Trainer Boy: Oh I sound like that, too. Don’t worry, nobody notices.

Me: [Eyeing him like he’s broken the golden library rule and I’m the naughty librarian who is about to punish him] Sweetheart, you’re a Cute Little Trainer Boy. I’m a plodding overweight woman. There’s a difference. People notice.

CLTB: Seriously, it’s not as bad as you think.

Me: Seriously, it’s bad. Plus, if I am ‘sprinting’ (and I use that term very lightly) my face will be as red as a baboon’s ass. And since I’m so noisy on the treadmill, everyone will look at me to see where the herd of rhinos are and see my baboon-ass face. Is that what you want to do to me?

CLTB: It’s the best way to lose 15 lbs in 7 weeks.

Me: Fine. But if I lose 1 lb less than 15 lbs–I’m coming after you. You will be punished. And it won’t be in a naughty librarian sorta punishment. It will be Fat Chick Running punishment. Big Difference.

CLTB: [Swallowing] You could do the HIIT on the elliptical, too, you know.

Me: Good to know. Thanks CLTB.