Hogzilla: a quest

If you’re a regular reader (I don’t mean Metamucil regular, I mean come here often) you know I’ve been in the middle of a 3 week plateau. This plateau sux every kind of ass imaginable. I think it sux unimaginable ass as well.

So on my quest to break this plateau, I’m trying things. Like the NEW THING AT THE GYM yesterday which kicked my ass. (however, I actually feel damn good today. loads of energy. Yes, I’m sore, but I really feel great. could’ve been the Advil I had for dinner and breakfast…) I’ve also been scouring the health websites for SMART WORDS OF WEIGHTLOSS WISDOM.

Yesterday, I received an email from Peertrainer.com. The subject read: Why Diets Don’t Work for Women over 40

Dude, I’m not even 40 yet. I have 23 days left. So back off with your “over 40” shit. MmmmmKay?

After I smoothed my hackles, I decided to read the article. It can’t hurt, right?

STEP ONE: Flush false fat by banishing wheat. One of the most common food allergens and a major cause of false fat in many women is wheat. Wheat contains a protein called gluten, which is difficult to break down, absorb and assimilate… all of which can trigger fatigue, depression, bloating and intestinal gas.

The good news is it’s now easier than ever to steer clear of bloat-inducing wheat. This week, try substituting breads made with rice, millet, amaranth, quinoa, or soy and oat; crackers made with rice or potatoes; pasta made with rice, quinoa, or buckwheat; and cookies made with rice, oat or millet flour. You’ll find plenty of delicious options in your health food store or healthy aisle of your supermarket.

This one is not going to happen for me. It’s too much work. And unless my personal doctor tells me that I need to banish wheat/gluten from my diet, then I’m going to keep enjoying it

STEP TWO: Knock out your appetite. Most diets will tell you to avoid fats. But did you know that some essential fats help you feel full and can even reduce your appetite? It’s true. Fiber is also known for this. One of my favorite foods — flaxseed — packs a one-two punch providing both of these good things. It’s full of omega-3 fatty acids and an excellent source of fiber — I think of it as one of nature’s most perfect foods. Plus, the essential oils in flax may also help do wonders for your skin. In fact, I’m such a fan of flax that if I were stranded on an island, and had to choose one food to survive on, I’d choose flaxseed hands down.

Flaxseed is a small seed that resembles a sesame seed. You can use it in a variety of ways — but it must be milled or ground for the nutrients to be released. I recommend four to six tablespoons daily, alone or sprinkled on food. Milled flax tastes great in hot or cold cereal, on salads, pasta, or in shakes.

Let me explain the roles fat and fiber play in weight loss. Fat provides more calories than protein and carbohydrates, is used more slowly for energy, and helps to maintain satiety for longer periods of time. I recommend you consume adequate amounts of good fat (omega-3 and –6 essential fatty acids) while dieting, and studies confirm that a moderate fat diet (25%-35% of calories from fat) is effective in losing weight. In addition to their appetite-suppressing abilities, they may also help promote normal brain function, and may improve mood and emotional state, a big plus while losing weight.

This is easy for me. I like Flax. It’s easy to add to the diet. So I’m giving it a go. I ran out and bought a bag of Flaxseed Meal last night. I made muffins this morning and added two tablespoons to the mix. Kids didn’t notice anything, though my youngest son said he filled up faster. (I believe he at 5 muffins instead of 7 LOL)

STEP THREE: Shift into high gear. You’ve flushed out the false fats, now it’s time to rev up your metabolism, and start burning fat and calories more efficiently. You may be surprised to hear that along with its antioxidant properties, green tea can help you burn calories as well. Green tea contains special chemicals called catechins. These catechins may protect a brain chemical related to metabolism. The higher your levels of this brain chemical, the greater your metabolism and the faster you burn calories.

One cup of brewed green tea contains about 100 mg of catechins. To reap the full benefit of green tea, I recommend consuming at least three eight-ounce cups daily (to provide roughly 240-320 mg of catechins). If you prefer not to drink the tea, either of these options provides the same level of protection: 1) 300-400 mg daily of green tea extract. Be sure the product is standardized to 80 percent catechins and at least 50 percent epigallocatechin (EGCG). This extract is not always caffeine-free; check the label. 2) 100 mg of green tea catechins, taken three times daily. This product is caffeine-free.

Another no brainer. I’m a big tea drinker, and if I mix a green-tea bag with a peppermint tea bag, it’s actually very good. But I like the idea of just taking a pill with breakfast/dinner and moving on. So I bought some Green Tea Extract pills last night. The highest I could find were 75% catechins. But that’s okay. It’s a start.

Now, if I don’t break this plateau in a major way, I’m making an appointment with a diet doc. Seriously. Maybe he can staple my stomach or tie it up with that band, or wire my mouth shut. Something. Because I know I’m eating right, and hell I know I’m exercising. So this fat better start falling off my big ass soon otherwise I may fly into a rage like that crazed chimp. And y’all don’t wanna see that.

Tags: diet