Dear Idiots-who-run-my-housing-complex,
Ordinarily I don’t think of you very fondly. You’re anal and annoying. You insist on stupid stuff like professional window washing three times a year which leaves all the dirt and causes me to lose window screens because the contractors never show up on the day you tell us.
Or, you pervs sit out on your balconies as I pathetically try to swim laps in the little swimming lane. Nothing makes me as self-conscious as knowning 25 people are watching my butt surface like Shamu when I doing kick turns. It’s awesome.
But today, I take back all that hostility. Why? Because today you are AWESOME. I just discovered our pathetic three cardio machine gym has direcTV with all the movie channels I’m too freaking cheap to order. So now when I am dying to see Johnny Depp I can drool while thudding along on the treadmill.
Hell YEAH!
Today is the awesome. Yes, yes it is.
Freaking awesome!! Nothing takes away the pain like Johnny Depp does.
OUR housing complex idiots never do anything. oh, wait. that’s me.