16 May 2010
Categorized As: This only happens to me

There are so many ways to gain my respect:

1) Cure something. (I mean really is that a no-brainer or what)

2) Invent or develop something that makes my life easier.

3) Offer me chocolate or coffee for any reason whatsoever.

For a long time I thought those were my top 3. Now I have a new one:

Live* and run in the South.

Now, before my Southern readers (ahem, HZ) get all hot and bothered allow me to explain.

*please note that some of you proud Southerners would argue that North Carolina is not actually The South and if you feel that is the case then you have no reason to be offended by this post now do you? Hah!

Without further ado allow me to detail the reasons I prefer California

  1. The weather- That’s right, I don’t like your seasons.

First there is rain. Now I’m from Southern California and rain tends to make us panic but okay, I can deal with it.

Then there is snow. Now, I liked the snow because it’s fluffy and pretty and I always felt ripped off that we never got snow days when I was growing up.

I’m cool with the snow even when it forces me to join an East Coast gym for treadmill access.

(See, I’m even posting a second picture, more proof that I love the snow)

But the season I loathe with the fire of a thousand suns?

Pollen Season. This is a picture of the Target parking lot after an hour of the strongest rain I have ever experienced in my life. Torrential rain. And you can see all the yellow pollen on the ground.

Three days before this I was driving down to Columbia, SC from Charlotte, NC and my best friend pointed to a gigantic yellow cloud up ahead. She said

“Hey do you know what that is?”

I immediately started thinking about that X-files in the woods with the creepy bugs that came out at night and ate people. It was a pollen cloud.

2. Sidewalks and jogging trails-

Sidewalks: There AREN’T any. Apparently part of the charm in my part of N.C. is NOT having sidewalks.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the few jogging “trails” went through a dense wooded areas which are beautiful but also incredibly creepy. I’m a female exercising alone, I refuse to go anywhere I don’t have clear visibility around me for at least 25 feet, preferably 50 feet. Not to mention forest = POLLEN.

3. Race Calendar-

If I want to participate in a race I check local race sites and find something 100 miles away or less. There are at least 30 great half marathons within a 2 hour radius. I have a full race schedule and have yet to have to stay the night in a hotel. This means running is much cheaper for me. This is not just limited to the South but those of you who not only have to contend with race registration fees AND hotel costs on top of that have my respect.

4. Time Limits-

My first race took forever. Heck, I know women who have given birth in less time then it took me to walk those 13.1 miles and every step of the way I wasn’t sure I could make it. Having crossed that first finishline, however, I was inspired to actually go from walking to occasional jogging and from occasional jogging to running intervals. I actually consider myself a runner now. Why do so many East Coast races have 3 hour time limits? WHY? I don’t care what anyone says, 3 hours is NOT “walker friendly!”

5. Southern Hospitality-

Yes, this is a BAD thing. I already have issues with my Mama trying to show me love by feeding me. Then I left the state and spent 4 months fighting off other people’s Mamas all trying to feed me things I love. Mostly fried things (who told my dirty secret?) I should not be consuming.

6.

It is no accident that the first five letters of this restaurant’s name is CRACK.

I have officially returned home and boy do I love pollen free oxygen! I love dry weather! Too bad I’ve lost all patience with the ridiculous traffic jams and have to force down road rage every time I get in the car between the hours of 7am and 9pm. But hey, you win some, you lose some, right?

Leave your Reply

  1. Shelley M says,

    As a lifetime southerner this post made me laugh! :) Actually, even as a southerner who has never lived any other place, I also HATE POLLEN, have womdered why there are no sidewalks in the south and been the victim of motherly “breaded, fried and gravied” love! But welcome anyway! Oh and by the way, the typical southern suffix that makes it OK to say anything about anyone is “Bless his/her heart”. That makes it more of a concern and less of an insult.

    dated May 17, 2010 at 9:11 am

  2. Hogzilla says,

    Pollen sucks, but you need to take back the southern hospitality thing. TAKE IT BACK! Bless your heart, you can’t help it that you’re from California.

    Glad you’re back, CK! We’ve missed you!

    dated May 17, 2010 at 10:37 am

  3. CarbKiller says,

    See Shelley, HZ beat you to it! ROTFL!
    I have to say I’d driven through the south (I-10 and I-40 coast to coast so I covered all my bases) but I had never experienced pollen season. OhMYGOSH! You are all hardcore for just surviving that nevermind actually trying to exercise with it!

    Other then that I ate my fair share of yumminess. I’ve STILL never tried Fried Green Tomatos (although I did have Fried Okra at Razoos and it was delicious). All in all I have to say Southern Hospitality (and Southern breakfasts) absolutely can’t be beat!

    dated May 17, 2010 at 2:45 pm

  4. Tweets that mention FatChicksRunning.com » Blog Archive » New Respect -- Topsy.com says,

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Melissa Francis. Melissa Francis said: FatChicksRunning! New Respect http://bit.ly/ctMNUa […]

    dated May 17, 2010 at 9:01 pm

  5. Deb says,

    Pollen free oxygen…what’s that? Oh, that’s right, I live on the east coast….I wouldn’t understand.

    dated May 20, 2010 at 6:12 pm

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