Anyone out there but me remember Morris Day and the Time? Specifically, do you remember their song: The Walk? (aside–it was the very first ‘dirty’ song I remember understanding was dirty…) Anyway, there is a verse that goes:
Who? Me? I wear baggies, zip, snap, and drop.
Easy access baby. Yes, before you get a chance to holler “Stop!”
Besides, Rollo likes his freedom.
So for the purpose of today’s blog…
Rollo = Mel’s Boobies.
First off, Monday the clasp on one of my favorite workout bras broke. So…I had to wear the bra I wore to work. And whereas my pretty lavendar silk bra from Vicky’s Closet is nice to look at while I’m disrobing, it is not made for running. Hell, it barely suffices for walking.
Yesterday, I grabbed a racer back bra that zips in the front. It’s a really comfy bra and has always been a very good harness, I mean, friend to Rollo.
Apparently Rollo and that bra broke up yesterday.
Picture this: I’m a half-mile into my run on the elliptical, almost preening as it’s my 2nd day in a row to hit the gym and I’m looking good. Other’s see it, as well, They are basking in the glory of my accomplishment…they are smiling and staring and…
And what is that breeze? and why do I suddenly feel FREE…?
Oh…because Rollo has escaped my now unzipped bra.
BTW, had a pole been available, I could’ve made some extra money during my workout…just sayin…
I spent the rest of my 20 minute run re-zipping my bra every 5 minutes. There were 2 college boys working out directly in front of me who spent the entire 20 minutes ogling me from the same piece of equipment. Their quads should be jello today. I hope their legs collapse as they sit for their morning constitutional…
A trustworthy source has lead me to this site, promising when they say NO MOVEMENT that they mean it. So I’m going to test that bitch out.
I say all this as a gentle reminder to those of us chest areas that are not concave. Wear a good bra. Wear two good bras if you have to. Or come to the gym equipped with your own stripper pole. And remember, some states require pasties…
Here’s the edited (as in no ‘Rollo’ lyrics) version of The Walk. You’re welcome.
Oh lord, they’ll be reliving that workout for decades. I went whitewater rafting in college in the Ozarks. The college being Antioch, six of the women in the boat went topless (I primly opted to not get sunburn in my alabaster regions or life preserver chafing).
The chaos caused on the river that day I am sure lives on in legend.
I’m afraid I’ve scarred them, not inspired them. But either way, I’m sad I didn’t have a pole in order to make a few bucks…
Oh my…you really took part in quite the show in the Ozarks! I’m sure you’re a legend now… 🙂