You are surfing posts written in October, 2009

31 Oct 2009
Categorized As: CarbKiller

I leave you with a clip of the best Halloween movie ever.

28 Oct 2009
Categorized As: CarbKiller, funny

Welcome Saudi Arabia! El Salvador! Czech Republic! and Taiwan!

I have to confess, one of the best parts of blogging is keyword analysis. You can use or GoogleAnalytics but learning the details of this site just cracks me up. Particularly when I discover we have readers from every continent except Antarctica (come ON South Pole rearchers, we know you’re bored down there!) And of course, the closet writer inside me starts to wonder…

Here is how you got here:

#1 search:   FAT CHICKS (notice the all caps)- $50 says this is guys looking to score with unskinny women. When women discuss weight problems they say things like obesity and overweight, or they’ll mutter about being fat. Only a guy would throw down the phrase FAT CHICKS in all caps. Hello gentlemen and welcome. 

My person favorite was “can fat chicks run?” – YES! It’s not always fun (particularly if you don’t train) but it is DEFINITELY doable. Stick around you might learn something.

Fat people on hovercrafts- Um…WHAT? You weren’t just looking for hovercrafts (which I get if you’re into military stuff) you wanted FAT people on hovercrafts! What the hell is wrong with you? go read a book!

Costco Food Guide- Oh how I would love to see the looks on the faces of Costco executives when they discover out a search on Costco’s Food Court takes you to a website where fat chicks bitch and moan about running! (I also recommend

Farting Jeans- What in the hell is this? I’m a pretty creative person but even I can’t figure out how you go from “farting jeans” to “fat chicks running” unless… oh my God they found my post about the Ab Ball!

And my personal favorite:

Easy Fat Chicks in Ohio?

I like that it was asked as a question. I’m sorry brother but I have no answer for that one.

The mind boggles.

27 Oct 2009
Categorized As: CarbKiller, funny

Yesterday I blogged about the elitist idiots that stick up their noses at the racing masses courtesy of the NY Times article. (Note elitist is not to be confused with elite)

So I’m obsessed with the San Francisco 1st half marathon. I have to finish a 1/2 or Full in SF to get my California Dreaming medal and since my current race speed is “hella slow” as they say in NorthernCA you can imagine my concern. There are two SF 1/2 marathons.

The 1st 1/2- In order to qualify as an Official Finisher, you must finish within a 3 hour course limit.  The course has a rolling closure based on the last wave start and based on a 13:45 minute per mile pace.  Therefore, you must reach Mile 1 before 13:45 minutes, Mile 2 before 27:30 minutes and so on.  [i]BUT you go over the golden gate bridge and how cool is that! [/i]

The 2nd 1/2 is more my speed. In order to qualify as an Official Finisher, you must finish within a 3.5 hour course limit.  The course has a rolling closure based on the last wave start and based on a 16:01 minute per mile pace.  Therefore, you must reach Mile 1 before 16:01 minutes, Mile 2 before 32:02 minutes and so on.  [i]But no Golden Gate Bridge[/i]

[b]And then I discovered the UnMarathon [/b]better known as the “Progressive Marathon”
The Progressive Marathon is an accumulation of 23.1 miles prior to Race Day.  You run or walk 23.1 miles leading up to Race Day.  Keeping track of your mileage on the Progressive Marathon Tracking Sheet, you must hand in this form during Race Weekend and complete the 5K race in an hour or less in order to be eligible for a Progressive Marathon medal.  

Info on that can be found here.

If I wasn’t busting my butt for the actual 1/2 marathon I would totally do this progressive thing. 26.2 miles is 26.2 miles. And you have a medal to prove it. How evil would it be for me to facebook message both these women with the details of this incarnation of their sacred race?

But its soooo tempting.

26 Oct 2009
Categorized As: CarbKiller, walking

Next weekend is the New York Marathon. Exactly 6 days from now over 40,000 people will hit the streets of the Big Apple in pursuit of one of racing’s most challenging achievements: A marathon finisher medal. The field is without question one of the largest in the world and almost 100,000 people apply for the race. Millions will cheer for runners in the streets and over 300 million people will watch it on TV. They call NY “the people’s race.” How cool is that!

So imagine my surprise when the front page of this past Friday’s New York Times shouted

Plodders Have a Place, but Is It in a Marathon?

I was so stunned I had to read it twice.

Basically the gist of the article is that people who run marathons (less then 4 hours) have their achievement tarnished by those of us who are slower then that and (God forbid) have to walk. We are not runners so we shouldn’t be allowed to call ourselves marathoners! We are in fact losers!

And that’s when I started laughing.

I have never received a dirty look from an elite runner suggesting that I am unworthy of sharing their field. If anything many elites finish their races, get their medals and then head back onto the course to cheer on those still competing.

Read the article if you’re bored, no doubt the sheer stupidity of it will make you laugh too. For those of you who have yet to enter a race, however, please be advised that I have NEVER experienced this kind of BS arrogance in real life. If anything the diversity of shapes, colors and sizes of competitors is one of the reasons I keep signing up for these races requiring pre-dawn activity. The women quoted here are an absolute joke, and they’ve just proclaimed that on the front page of the NYTimes. Good one!

But then I guess that’s the difference between a jerk and an athlete.

24 Oct 2009
Categorized As: CarbKiller, race details, running


Because nothing I’ve seen describes marathon training quite as effectively as:

Spirit of the Marathon 

No, I’m not training for a marathon yet. I want to be able to run a half in under 3 hours with hilly terrain (San Francisco 1st 1/2).

But I’m thinking 2011 marathon if I can train relatively injury free.

(You’ve got to do one right?)

21 Oct 2009
Categorized As: CarbKiller, gear

For those of us who generally dislike spandex as standalone pants I have an easy (and obvious to everyone but me) solution.

1) Put on the spandex pants and put a running skirt over it. Check those out HERE

2) Buy a pair of these which is a skirt/pant combo* and is totally cute. More importantly if you buy one now you can get one free so you’ll basically get two for the price of one.

*note- the free offer is added automatically when you put items totally $75 or more into your shopping cart like the example. This deal is only available while supplies last and please read all fine print before purchasing!

I think it’s a great way to stay warm and cute but still be active in the winter!

14 Oct 2009
Categorized As: CarbKiller, gear, race details

This time, though, I felt MUCH more prepared. Not physically, of course, I’ve been doing nothing but stationary bike workouts for weeks. Gear-wise though, my race bag was packed with all relevant staples:

My Blister kit included:

  • underwrap (that’s actually for taping ankles so I’m not sure why I took it but you never know).
  • scissors (little sharp ones for popping blisters- yes it’s gross but FAR less painful)
  • Band-aids of assorted sizes and shapes including really big ones. (I’m prone to getting blisters on my heels)- please note these aren’t actually band-aid brand, the 99cents only store has a really decent kind that’s $1 a box. I’m cheap like that.
  • Alcohol wipes- to sterilize the scissors before any fun stuff.
  • Neosporin- the gift that keeps on giving
  • Gauze pads (also from the 99cents only store- a blessing for cushioning any blistered spots before walking to my car)
  • I should also probably mention that I’m one of those poor fools that just seems destined to keep using the wrong damn socks. 95% of people seem to cross the finish line with no ill effects to their little feetsies. Since I could feel blisters forming at the four mile mark I can say for certain this post-race ritual was an absolute blessing.

    Clif Shots and PowerBar Gel Packs. Mmmmm…
    I took these little gems with me in my fanny pack (yep, wore it a second time). Some people swear by one brand or the other, I think they’re both better then nothing and together they saved me. Big time. They taste like a weird oozing candy you haven’t had since you were seven but they do the trick. I had one every hour and I think it’s what got me through the race.

    There are those, of course, who prefer race snacks. I can’t really imagine actually eating solid foods on the course so I usually just throw these things in my bag in case they run out of food at the finish-line (never underestimate the eating powers of anorexic-looking runners).

    Then, of course, there is BodyGlide to reduce friction from movement. (Personally I haven’t had any problems there yet but I’m also walking and typically wear pants to prevent rubbing).

    My heart rate monitor so I could be suitably impressed by my caloric expenditure.

    Advil, the breakfast (lunch and dinner) of champions.

    Hand sanitizer. I am a BIG BIG fan. (see yesterday’s picture of the line for the porta potties).

    I also highly recommend:

  • A hat
  • Sunglasses
  • Sunblock
  • Cushioned FLIP FLOPS or slippers- if you get blisters these will save you!
  • Extra hair rubberband-it will break at the least opportune time. Always.
  • I have yet to start bringing alcohol to races with me but after Sunday’s blister’s I’m considering it. Doesn’t rum have medicinal uses?

    13 Oct 2009
    Categorized As: CarbKiller, race details, walking

    On a side note, this picture is of the Long Beach Sports Arena next to the race starting line. I lived in the area for three years before I realized it was not actually the Long Beach Aquarium (LOL). You might have seen images of this building earlier this year on Earth Day when Wyland painted the largest painting in the world of the Earth on the roof.

    I think it was an appropriate thing to fixate on at 5:30am. Particularly since my race prep had been minimal and frankly, I was worried. Still, if a guy in a crane can paint a life sized blue whale on the side of a building surely I could walk the Long Beach half marathon right? (yes, yes I get that it’s totally non-sequitor but when you’re completely unprepared for a fitness demonstration you have to take your inspiration where you can get it!)

    The gun went off and again we all moved forward. This time I understood the chip timing concept (the clock starts when you pass over the timing bump) so I was happy to let others move past me. It also prevented me from slugging the guy jogging past me who said to his running partner I love starting behind the walkers because it makes me feel like a champ when I pass all of them. Pffft!

    The race itself had some pretty cool sights too.

    That’s the Queen Mary oceanliner which is permanently docked in Long Beach. Behind the QM is the Carnival cruiseliner. At that point I didn’t have blisters yet so I wasn’t very envious actually. LOL.

    I will say, though, that every race has it’s characters. The Surf City had a guy dressed as a hot dog, another dressed as Superman and a wild assortments of antler headbands, Mickey ears and technicolor mohawks. The Long Beach race had this guy.

    His group was actually behind me for the entire race but he would literally jog ahead until he hit the next mile marker and then he’d stand in front of it jumping up and down until the rest of the group caught up and they all took pictures. It would have been funnier if he’d dressed like a taco but when you’re walking 13.1 miles you have to take your entertainment where you can find it.

    The other shocker for the race was:

    That’s the line for the porta potties at the 4 mile mark. Those are the people willing to wait which does not include the people who tried to run into hotels near the race course or the people who found conveniently-placed bushes near empty parking lots. It’s actually really gross if you think about it.

    Anyway, as for the race itself, the term that comes into mind is sheer grit because that’s what it took me to finish the race. I could feel my stupid heel blister at mile marker four and all I could think was oh hell I still have over 2/3 of the race to go!

    Note to self, do not confuse “tennis socks” with “running socks” just because they both say Thorlo. Truthfully I have no idea what the hell the difference is but boy did my feet notice. And I barely hung in there.

    The best part of the entire race though, was the fans. When I signed up for the Surf City race they asked me if I wanted my name on my race bib. I remember thinking “why would I want that?” until I realized random people on the sidelines shout out your name and cheer you on. If they don’t have a name they go for the nearest identifying item. I was “Go fannypack girl!” Not a distinction I wanted to encourage so this time I had my name printed.

    Besdies, while I’m not into public displays but there is something awesome about a little kid saying “what does her tag say mommy?” and then hearing the kid shout “GO GO GO!” The kid was probably five years old and he was looking at me like I was running the last lap of an Olympic race.

    He was so adorable I actually slowed to give him a high five. (I know, I should have taken a picture)

    I crossed the finishline which makes me 2/2 on races I’ve showed up for. It also made me realize there was no friggin way in hell I could have finished Disney in 3:30 (last month’s time limit) with a knee injury even if I’d sold my soul in the attempt.

    Next time I plan to try this whole training thing I keep hearing about. I figured I’ve tried everything else, why not attempt to be legit?

    12 Oct 2009
    Categorized As: CarbKiller, race details, walking

    Continuing yesterday’s theme of the Long Beach half marathon.

    Let me just say waking up in the dark is a lot less frustrating when you don’t have to worry about an awkward pre-dawn commute and shuttle schedules.

    And yes, I mean PRE dawn.

    Fortunately by the time I had to get behind my wave sign the sky had lightened up considerably.

    This was excellent news for several reasons not the least of which is I trip over my own feet on a good day, I don’t even want to try to run a road race over potholes in the dark.

    Don’t let that last picture fool you, it was still pretty dark when we started the race. I got to walk under a gigantic American flag. That was kind of cool. Please note the miniature-looking man on top of the crane. He was taking pictures. I’m not sure who he was taking pictures for but if he has any of me I have no doubt I’m squinting at him and looking very confused.

    I also kind of wonder what that view must have been like since an ocean of people walked/ran/biked under him.

    Kind of gives a whole new meaning to the phrase bird’s-eye view…

    12 Oct 2009
    Categorized As: CarbKiller, race details, walking

    I have a bunch of posts about today’s race and my prep for it (or lack thereof). I have pictures too. You want to see a picture of my medal?


    No medal. WHY?

    That’s because I don’t HAVE a friggin medal. AGAIN.

    I’m going to have to stalk the race committee. AGAIN.

    The bright spot was I beat my previous time by over five minutes even with the worse-then-last-time blisters.

    The rest is coming, I apologize for the delay but I’m exhausted and going to bed at the ripe old hour of 9pm.