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13 Mar 2014
Categorized As: fitness, Hogzilla

I posted this today on my personal blog. Go forth and read.

Well, it finally happened.

People can be assholes. Don’t let them bring you down and keep you from your goals.

17 Feb 2014
Categorized As: diet, fitness, Hogzilla
  • -.6 lbs
  • I managed to do cardio 3 days last week plus 2 days with my trainer. 
  • I struggled getting all my calories in.
  • I had 1 bad food day, but it was Valentine’s night, and who cares.

My trainer sent me my menu for the next 3 weeks. I bought the food last night, prepared a week’s worth of chicken in advance, and got up this morning to cook my breakfast. I don’t like to eat that early, but I managed to eat half of my 2 scrambled eggs with ham and cheese. I put the remainder in a dish and brought it to work with me for a snack.

I walked for 58 minutes yesterday. I’ve been instructed to do 5-6 days of at least 45 minutes of cardio, plus my two day/ week training sessions. This means I am going to have to add a couple of morning gym visits, because I cannot figure out how else I’ll get that amount of cardio in every day otherwise.  I meet with Angel tonight, and will either walk at lunch today or after our session tonight. Tomorrow, I will go in the afternoon. I’m sad I’ll miss my yoga class tomorrow, but my kid has an appointment at 5:00. Maybe I can do yoga on Thursday this week.

I finished my last bit of wine off last night. I am going to dedicate myself to this regimen, which means, no alcohol for three weeks. Thank the gods I can still have coffee…otherwise, I would resemble a very angry troll over the next 3 weeks.

Here goes nothing, bitches!

How was your weekend? Did y’all have a good weekend of love!? I sure did.



11 Feb 2014
Categorized As: diet, fitness, Hogzilla, Motivational

So before the holidays, I started a private fitness associated Facebook support group. There are 46 members, a few lurkers, but many of us are active participants. And we are ALL at various different fitness levels. And we are from all over the country.

It has been been one of the most truly rewarding and educational groups I’ve been apart of.

I’d like to introduce you to one of my writer friends whom I love dearly. She’s been doing 100 days…of fitness blogging. She has upped her calorie intake and has consistently lost 2 lbs a week by eating more food. Meet the extraordinary  Shaunta Grimes. She’s using this site to determine exactly how many calories she should consume a day. And it’s really working for her.

I have heard this over and over. You’re eating too few calories. As a girl who has been dieting since she was 10 years old…as someone who has ALWAYS been told to restrict her caloric intake, eating more calories seems ridiculous.

But it’s obvious eating too few calories doesn’t work either. I’ve been at 1400 calories, eating more when I exercise…and I’m not losing weight consistently. Not like I should.

Scooby has told me to eat 2237 calories. And my mind just screamed: NO FUCKING WAY!

Sadly, I don’t think Pizza, Cheese Dip or Nachos is supposed to be included in those calories. Because THEN I could do it.

Ugh. It’s weird because I know what it’s telling me is scientifically true. But isn’t it funny how what you’ve been taught all your life hangs around like a dingleberry with a burr on a dog’s butt?

I just need to snip that old dingleberry off the dog’s ass and forge ahead.

To help me figure out exactly how many calories I’m truly burning during my workouts, I’ve gotten myself a Heart Rate Monitor. The problem with using My Fitness Pal’s numbers, is they are often wrong. They overestimate my elliptical calories burned and they underestimate my calories burned during yoga. And I have NO IDEA how to calculate my calories from my PT sessions.

Speaking of my PT session. My ass hurts. It’s all good though. Except for the part that I did 60 squats and then me made me ‘run’ the stairs 3 times. First of all, I don’t ‘run stairs’. Secondly, these stairs are see-through grated stairs and boy did that fuck with my depth perception. I cried. He cried. We bonded. Then he made me do lunges.


I’ve committed to 2 x a week for 12 weeks. Plus at least 2 cardio sessions on my own per week.

Stay tuned…it could be awesome…or it could be an awesome train wreck. Either way, welcome to the THUNDERDOME.

Goals for the next 12 weeks:

  1. Eat more protein, add more calories
  2. Continue to have at least 1 smoothie per day
  3. Exercise 4-5 times a week
  4. Lose at least 1 jean size
  5. Build up the strength in my T-Rex (left) arm





10 Feb 2014
Categorized As: diet, fitness, Hogzilla

Well, my training appointment on Friday was rescheduled to tonight because of inclement weather. (We got 3 inches of snow and the world shut down).

I spent the weekend on my last binge of food and booze and awesomeness…and got up this morning and made my breakfast smoothie:

1897715_10152628608622907_728136538_nNot pictured: Vanilla protein powder.

Mmmmmm. It was so good. and it’s so quick and easy to make, that I even made myself make it even though I was totally running late.

I do feel better when I start my day off with one of these bad boys.

It’s like my friends on TEAM MELF reminded me, I deserve to take care of myself, even during times of stress. And even though eating pizza and cheese dip when I’m feeling emotional seems like a warm hug from the inside out, I’m actually punishing my body. So stop doing that.

Yeah, it is easier said than done, and I’m only human so I’m sure I’ll falter again, but…for now, I’m gonna STOP IT!.



7 Feb 2014
Categorized As: fitness, gear, Hogzilla


Hey ladies! If you’ve got big boobs and you cannot lie…tell me, doesn’t running suck?

I love my Krakens. I really do. They are things of art. They make me want to believe in a higher power. My cleavage makes the gods weep.

But let’s face it, trying to strap down these 38Gs so that I can get my workout on, is damn near impossible.

I’ve tried it all. I’ve used the two harness method. The duct tape (not even joking) method. Buying the 1 size too small and breaking my ribs method. Nothing really works. Well, that’s not true, the one size smaller smoosh-em-down-into-a-uni-boob method does work, it’s just so unattractive. And painful. And no, I’m not worried about how I look when I’m getting my wog on, but let me tell ya. The uni-boob will still put an eye out.

So today, I invested in a sports bra that was designed for Krakens.  I read a couple of good reviews from really large breasted athletes. What sold me on this bra? One reviewer said her rack looked amazing in the bra and it was comfortable. AND it worked. SOLD! Thank you Amazon Prime for free 2-day shipping!

I meet with my personal trainer tonight. I hope I like him. The last guy I met with through my gym was a total douchenozzle. He thought he was charming and funny and motivating, but he wasn’t. At. All.

This will be interesting for sure. I definitely have started the day off right, carbing up for my workout with biscuits and gravy and a donut. People who say “No food tastes as good as skinny feels” must have no taste buds.

Happy Friday, bitches! Get off your ass this weekend a move it, move it!




25 Apr 2013
Categorized As: fitness, Hogzilla, image, Motivational

Here’s a good article about how to “be enough.”

She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself. ~Anais Nin

I don’t really fight with being who I am anymore. It took me years to get there. To love me and my body for who we are–imperfect (but LOTS of fun). In the article I linked above they list 7 steps on how to Master Yourself. For me, it’s an ongoing process. I find myself doing all of these most of the time, but of course, I stumble and fall on occasion.

1. Let go

Let go of all the toxic thoughts and behaviours that are making you unhappy. Let go of the need to search for love outside yourself and start searching for love within yourself.

2. Purify your thoughts

Nurture good thoughts and you will reap good behaviours. Use your mind and don’t let it use you.

3. Contemplate

Contemplate on how you would like your Ideal Self to look like, feel like, love like and live like.

4. Spend time in silence

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility. ~Khalil Gibran

5. Have daily conversations with yourself

Carefully listen to what your Self has to say…

6. Practice self forgiveness

Forgive yourself for holding on to resentment for so long and depriving yourself of inner peace, tranquility and happiness.

Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things. ~Leo F. Buscaglia

7. Love your Self

Learn to treasure yourself and your unique and authentic Self. Work on accepting yourself completely and make sure you are alway kind and gentle with your Self :)

All of this is connected to my health and fitness goals. I struggle with practicing self forgiveness. I beat myself up when I stumble. I regret choices I make and actions I take and it makes it very hard to do #1…Let Go. These things hold me back, sometimes.

So, let’s all practice mastering ourselves . (I do NOT recommend being the Master of Your Domain…that’s just cruel and unusual punishment) (also, if you didn’t get that reference, that makes me feel really old.)

If you fall off the fitness wagon. Get up! Brush yourself off and move on. Don’t dwell on it. When I beat myself up over the perceived failure, it takes days for me to get back at it. When I just shrug and say, “Oops. Oh well, that cheese dip and beer was good. But it’s time to get back to work.” I do myself a huge favor mentally and physically because it’s easier then to move forward.

Anyway, these are things I’ve been contemplating since my fall from grace last week with the ear infection and migraines. It happens. I’m human. And now, I’m back at it with a vengeance.

24 Apr 2013
Categorized As: fitness, Hogzilla, Motivational

I could have written this article myself. But I didn’t.  You should read it anyway.




I’ve been wanting to try Yoga again but have been terrified of the reactions I’ll get because even though I’m fit…I’m fat. And yes, you can be both. But I love yoga and I have to get over my fear of judgment because really…it’s their problem and not mine. I don’t care about anyone’s opinion of me any other time, so why on earth do I let the thought of Yogi judgment paralyze me?

I guess I am human after all. Dammit.

9 Apr 2013
Categorized As: fitness, Hogzilla, Motivational

I’ve ‘started over’ a lot in my adult fitness battle. I don’t apologize for it, because I’m human. Things happen. We go through trials and tribulations that are real…or at least, real to us, and we sometimes pick the wrong way to deal with those issues. Sometimes, I’ve just stopped working out or stopped eating right because I stopped seeing progress…so Fuck It! Sometimes I stopped because we had 4 days of bad weather and it was a good excuse in my head.

But this is my mantra for starting over:

c908a3f16af40a19ca56d574164b2a32Every time I begin again, I’m smarter about it. And every step forward is a step toward success. And beating myself up or listening to assholes who would rather try to break me down for being the fat girl who always fails, I smile and remember this:

The ones who say you can't and you won't are probably the ones scared that you will

and this:


and most importantly. This:


If you need to dwell on ‘haters’ and others opinions then you’re missing out on a real opportunity to feel better from the inside out. This has taken me a while to learn, but it is amazing how healthy I feel. And eating clean and exercising daily is just adding to that.

So carry on, bitches. And remember, everyone has an asshole, but that doesn’t mean everyone has to be one. Failure is just another step toward success. Don’t listen to the assholes. Don’t listen to that little niggle of doubt in your mind. Just get up…and try again. Rome wasn’t built in a day. And your Brick House won’t be either.

1 Apr 2013
Categorized As: diet, fitness, Hogzilla

CarbKiller has reinspired me. (is that even a real word? Reinspire? Oh well, it is now.)

Actually, reinspire isn’t quite correct. I’m inspired everyday. But my motivation is severely lacking.

But today, I’m starting anew, and I’m using this as my mantra:



12 weeks.

That’s what it says. So from April 1 – June 29 (which is actually 13 weeks) I’m going to really dedicate myself to completing the lifestyle change I”ve been working on. I’m going to eat better, exercise better, exercise more and continue my positive attitude.

I’ve been hit and miss with the eating and exercise portion of this program, however, my positive attitude has held strong. I’ve been reading a book called OVERCOMING PASSIVE AGGRESSION to help me deal with some very passive aggressive people in my life and to recognize that behavior in myself, as well, I will be honest, it isn’t easy changing the way you deal with people and respond to them, but it is worth it.

Today, I walk with Robyn. Tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday I’m going to hit the gym because it will be cold and rainy. I don’t care if I only manage 20 minutes on the elliptical, I’m gonna go. And I’m gonna do my best to get some form of exercise daily. Even if it’s just a walk. Because I need to move. And frankly, I’m tired of starting over.

I’m so much better than that.

So I’m back. For at least 12 weeks. I started out today on a not-so-great note…12 donut holes for breakfast. However, I did write them down in myfitnesspal journal. So at least I’m holding myself accountable.

Here we go again, Fat Bitches. Let’s get this party started!


25 Sep 2012
Categorized As: fitness, Hogzilla

The title of this blog post looks like an algebraic equation. Maf hurts my head.

Last night was bootcamp class #4 and it was a tough class. The toughest so far…however, it felt almost easier. All the walking I did last week in between classes paid off! Yippee! I’m the right amount of sore this morning and I’m not groaning with every step, so I think I’m on the right path!

In other news, I registered for Little Rock’s Color Run in November!  Check out the photo gallery and tell me that doesn’t look like the happiest 5K on earth! How fun does that look?

taken from

Our team name is Dye Hard. Yeah, we’re cool like that.