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25 Apr 2013
Categorized As: fitness, Hogzilla, image, Motivational

Here’s a good article about how to “be enough.”

She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself. ~Anais Nin

I don’t really fight with being who I am anymore. It took me years to get there. To love me and my body for who we are–imperfect (but LOTS of fun). In the article I linked above they list 7 steps on how to Master Yourself. For me, it’s an ongoing process. I find myself doing all of these most of the time, but of course, I stumble and fall on occasion.

1. Let go

Let go of all the toxic thoughts and behaviours that are making you unhappy. Let go of the need to search for love outside yourself and start searching for love within yourself.

2. Purify your thoughts

Nurture good thoughts and you will reap good behaviours. Use your mind and don’t let it use you.

3. Contemplate

Contemplate on how you would like your Ideal Self to look like, feel like, love like and live like.

4. Spend time in silence

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility. ~Khalil Gibran

5. Have daily conversations with yourself

Carefully listen to what your Self has to say…

6. Practice self forgiveness

Forgive yourself for holding on to resentment for so long and depriving yourself of inner peace, tranquility and happiness.

Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things. ~Leo F. Buscaglia

7. Love your Self

Learn to treasure yourself and your unique and authentic Self. Work on accepting yourself completely and make sure you are alway kind and gentle with your Self :)

All of this is connected to my health and fitness goals. I struggle with practicing self forgiveness. I beat myself up when I stumble. I regret choices I make and actions I take and it makes it very hard to do #1…Let Go. These things hold me back, sometimes.

So, let’s all practice mastering ourselves . (I do NOT recommend being the Master of Your Domain…that’s just cruel and unusual punishment) (also, if you didn’t get that reference, that makes me feel really old.)

If you fall off the fitness wagon. Get up! Brush yourself off and move on. Don’t dwell on it. When I beat myself up over the perceived failure, it takes days for me to get back at it. When I just shrug and say, “Oops. Oh well, that cheese dip and beer was good. But it’s time to get back to work.” I do myself a huge favor mentally and physically because it’s easier then to move forward.

Anyway, these are things I’ve been contemplating since my fall from grace last week with the ear infection and migraines. It happens. I’m human. And now, I’m back at it with a vengeance.

24 Apr 2013
Categorized As: fitness, Hogzilla, Motivational

I could have written this article myself. But I didn’t.  You should read it anyway.




I’ve been wanting to try Yoga again but have been terrified of the reactions I’ll get because even though I’m fit…I’m fat. And yes, you can be both. But I love yoga and I have to get over my fear of judgment because really…it’s their problem and not mine. I don’t care about anyone’s opinion of me any other time, so why on earth do I let the thought of Yogi judgment paralyze me?

I guess I am human after all. Dammit.

23 Apr 2013
Categorized As: Dietbet, Hogzilla

I took about an 8 day break due to an ear infection. I decided I didn’t want to weigh because it might depress me, so I measured instead.

I’m -6.75 inches in 23 days! Not bad!! Especially since I didn’t do anything but eat, drink and sloth for 8 of those days…

Now, am I the only one waiting to hear about CarbKiller’s Diet Bet results? I know she made her goal, what I don’t know is how much of that $63,000 pot is she gonna bring home…


9 Apr 2013
Categorized As: fitness, Hogzilla, Motivational

I’ve ‘started over’ a lot in my adult fitness battle. I don’t apologize for it, because I’m human. Things happen. We go through trials and tribulations that are real…or at least, real to us, and we sometimes pick the wrong way to deal with those issues. Sometimes, I’ve just stopped working out or stopped eating right because I stopped seeing progress…so Fuck It! Sometimes I stopped because we had 4 days of bad weather and it was a good excuse in my head.

But this is my mantra for starting over:

c908a3f16af40a19ca56d574164b2a32Every time I begin again, I’m smarter about it. And every step forward is a step toward success. And beating myself up or listening to assholes who would rather try to break me down for being the fat girl who always fails, I smile and remember this:

The ones who say you can't and you won't are probably the ones scared that you will

and this:


and most importantly. This:


If you need to dwell on ‘haters’ and others opinions then you’re missing out on a real opportunity to feel better from the inside out. This has taken me a while to learn, but it is amazing how healthy I feel. And eating clean and exercising daily is just adding to that.

So carry on, bitches. And remember, everyone has an asshole, but that doesn’t mean everyone has to be one. Failure is just another step toward success. Don’t listen to the assholes. Don’t listen to that little niggle of doubt in your mind. Just get up…and try again. Rome wasn’t built in a day. And your Brick House won’t be either.

8 Apr 2013
Categorized As: diet, Hogzilla

-3.4 lbs

I walked at least 30 minutes every day.  Twice I did the elliptical, and twice I walked longer than an hour.

I feel great.

I am hoping to add yoga at home…I’d love to take a class, but it’s been so long since I’ve done yoga, I’m afraid I’ll fall, knock someone over, or fart in someone’s face. Or all three. The Yoga Trifecta. No thanks.

This week, I’ll add in more ab work. I managed 3 days of good ab work last week. I need to do more. When my core is stronger, it makes all of my exercising easier. (also, my pants fit better! LOL)

Because I have such a lofty weight-loss goal for the 12 week challenge, I dropped my calories to 1200.  Ideally, I’d like to average losing  3 lbs per week. I know this is over the recommended loss, but…I’m doing it the right way, so I’m not worried. And if I don’t meet that goal, that’s okay, too. The main purpose of this 12 weeks is to exercise for at least 30 mins 6 days a week and document my food intake.

Speaking of food….I made the best Salmon ever last week. I found the recipe on Pinterest. I am a fantastic cook, but I have never really mastered salmon. I’m always terrified of under cooked fish, so I end up over cooking it. Not this time.


Yesterday, I used the leftovers in our breakfast. Which…btw…was fucking awesome. Wheat toast with olive oil, Laughing Cow Light Queso & Chipotle spread, 1 fried egg over medium, 2 oz of salmon, 1/4 avocado. I ate it as an open-faced sandwich and mmmmmmmmm. All for 420 calories and 27 grams of protein!

Hope you guys had a great week!

1 Apr 2013
Categorized As: diet, fitness, Hogzilla

CarbKiller has reinspired me. (is that even a real word? Reinspire? Oh well, it is now.)

Actually, reinspire isn’t quite correct. I’m inspired everyday. But my motivation is severely lacking.

But today, I’m starting anew, and I’m using this as my mantra:



12 weeks.

That’s what it says. So from April 1 – June 29 (which is actually 13 weeks) I’m going to really dedicate myself to completing the lifestyle change I”ve been working on. I’m going to eat better, exercise better, exercise more and continue my positive attitude.

I’ve been hit and miss with the eating and exercise portion of this program, however, my positive attitude has held strong. I’ve been reading a book called OVERCOMING PASSIVE AGGRESSION to help me deal with some very passive aggressive people in my life and to recognize that behavior in myself, as well, I will be honest, it isn’t easy changing the way you deal with people and respond to them, but it is worth it.

Today, I walk with Robyn. Tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday I’m going to hit the gym because it will be cold and rainy. I don’t care if I only manage 20 minutes on the elliptical, I’m gonna go. And I’m gonna do my best to get some form of exercise daily. Even if it’s just a walk. Because I need to move. And frankly, I’m tired of starting over.

I’m so much better than that.

So I’m back. For at least 12 weeks. I started out today on a not-so-great note…12 donut holes for breakfast. However, I did write them down in myfitnesspal journal. So at least I’m holding myself accountable.

Here we go again, Fat Bitches. Let’s get this party started!


2 Oct 2012
Categorized As: Hogzilla

Last night, our fearless Bootcamp leader seemed to have much contempt toward legs and asses. I mean–wow. I get it. It’s supposed to hurt. I’m supposed to be tired. I know I won’t wake up with Beyonce’s ass if I don’t work for it–but DAMN. Really? My legs give new meaning to Rubberband Man.

I did hold a plank for 22 seconds last night which is a personal record. Mainly because the arthritis in my elbow makes planking super hard and I don’t have the core strength to hold an ‘elbow’ plank yet. But soon, my darlings. Very soon.

Oh, check this out. While searching for inspiration (Beyonce’s butt) I found this little gem. I love it.

27 Sep 2012
Categorized As: Hogzilla

-2.4 lbs this week.   -7 lbs total

5 Bootcamps down; 4 to go.

Color Run team is registered and we are gonna have a fantastic time!

LR Half-Marathon Team is registered and we’re gonna kick some ass.

I feel great. Tell me again why do I think it’s okay to “take a break” from exercising when it obviously does a body so much good?

The next bootcamp will be 14 sessions long. I am stoked. I can’t wait to see how many inches I’ll lose after these first 9 sessions. Marietta kicks ass.

25 Sep 2012
Categorized As: fitness, Hogzilla

The title of this blog post looks like an algebraic equation. Maf hurts my head.

Last night was bootcamp class #4 and it was a tough class. The toughest so far…however, it felt almost easier. All the walking I did last week in between classes paid off! Yippee! I’m the right amount of sore this morning and I’m not groaning with every step, so I think I’m on the right path!

In other news, I registered for Little Rock’s Color Run in November!  Check out the photo gallery and tell me that doesn’t look like the happiest 5K on earth! How fun does that look?

taken from

Our team name is Dye Hard. Yeah, we’re cool like that.


20 Sep 2012
Categorized As: Hogzilla

6 to go…

Bootcamp week 1 is over…and to celebrate, I weighed…to the tune of -5lbs! yippee!

Today, I walk. Tomorrow I walk. This weekend…more walking.

And when my abs stop punching me from the inside, I’m sure I’ll do some more ab work. Right now, laughter feels like ab work.

I’m proud of myself. I feel good. I’m sleeping well. I’m also peeing a gallon every 10 minutes. Damn.

Onward I go.