Okay yes, that image has nothing to do with this blog post, it was just totally gratuitous. You’re welcome.
My run today was quite jubilant as you might imagine. I am gleefully…yeah okay screw it.
So I ran. The good news is it was pretty decent. I didn’t feel like hell or anything. The bad news is I ran on a nature trail that a number of ambitious dog owners frequent with their fidos and rovers and all manner of other doggy creatures. Now normally this is a good thing (remember my blog about being a dog stalker), today notsomuch. I ran my podcast and was happily cooling down when a golden lab ran up to me and tried to sniff my ass. Kind of…awkward.
What was even stranger was that the dog didn’t have a collar or an owner either. And it kept trying to sniff my ass. Now I’ve been sniffed in other private places by dogs, I get that. But the ass was a new one.
**stop reading here if you’re of a particularly delicate constitution**
Okay let me tell you what I learned today. If a dog madly starts sniffing your ass one of two things happen.
1) You get freaked out a bit
2) You start to wonder if there might be a legitimate reason why the dog would be sniffing your hindquarters. Madly sniffing. I tell you it totally freaked me out. I mean, it didn’t feel like anything was wrong, ya know?
**resume reading here**
Fido turned out to be Bailey, a beautiful and spunky two year old Golden Lab. He was identified by another dog walker as a dog path regular who is genius enough to jailbreak often and head for the nature trail. Brilliant! It ALSO turned out that Bailey was trained by an equally brilliant dog trainer who believes that good pets are taught with tasty rewards. Rewards like hot dog bits and other delightful treats. And all those treats?
wait for it…
wait for it…
All those treats are stored in a fanny pack.
Even after I got him home he wouldn’t stop sniffing my ass/fanny pack. I finally had to take it off and open it to show him there was no doggy treasure in there. Have you ever seen an otherwise total stranger of a dog look at you with an expression of total betrayal on his face?
Thus the need for Bondage-type inspiration. Incidentally, I will not be running nature trails in the near future.
How sad is it that I still feel guilty?
I’d feel guilty too.
I’d take it as a sign to begin walking home. It doesn’t take much for me to interpret things as “walk home.”
LOL Next time, you must pack treats.
Glad to know he was looking for treats and there wasn’t an “accident” involved!
you are one big cuppa awesome! And yes, having two rotties in the past – very familiar with the betrayal look, LOL!!!
Thanks for the inspirational photo. As for the dogs, I live with a lot of them and they’re like that. Stop feeling guilty:).
I couldn’t read anything after that picture. Sorry.
Well, I think that’s a really great reason to ditch the fanny pack! And I’m sure HZ agrees with me, no?
I think this just validates my point about running with fanny packs.
or, I should just have said: What Connie Said.
Dude, I can’t give up the fanny pack. How else am I going to be able to hold a big wad of kleenex and my cellphone and keys?
Okay freaky moment? My recaptcha word is Murchison the name of an old teacher I literally wondered about this morning for the first time in years. Talk about RANDOM!
That is so cute! Next time bring some doggy treats, Mel had turtles after all… it’s only fair