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17 Sep 2012
Categorized As: diet, fitness, gear, Hogzilla

The see me comin’…they be hatin’…

Good Monday Morning FatChick Readers! How was your weekend? Mine was wet, but that didn’t matter because look at my new kicks! Aw yeah. They are awesome.

I was hoping to break them in at the Big Dam(n) Bridge this weekend, but it was just too rainy. The water from the sky forced me to go to the gym. I like the elliptical trainer because of the calories I burn, but I hate it because about 20 minutes in, both of my feet fall asleep. WTF is up with that? You should see me when I’m through running and trying to dismount. It’s hard to walk when you can’t feel your feet.

Tonight is bootcamp #2. I swear I’m looking forward to it. I mean it. I can’t wait. It’s gonna be awesome. Right? Right? RIGHT?

Oh, I forgot to mention, I’ve been using My Fitness Pal to document my food, booze, water, and exercise. I’m loving it. It really helps keep me on track. You should check it out! Also, there’s an app for that.

See y’all tomorrow for the After Bootcamp Obituary, er, I mean, report.


13 Sep 2012
Categorized As: diet, fitness, Hogzilla


The people in the picture are lying to you. There’s no smiling in bootcamp! There’s sweating, moaning, groaning, WTFing and possibly some bleeding…but definitely no smiling.

So, I survived. It is gonna be hard, but I’m determined to complete the 9 sessions.

These are last night’s lessons learned:

  1. Nobody is pretty at bootcamp. Except for the instructor.
  2. Wearing old, worn out sneakers because your new ones are on order is not gonna make your life easier. Or your back hurt less.
  3. If you have arthritis in your elbow, you’ll want to take an Aleve or Advil before you go–other wise, your left arm will not get a full workout due to the excruciating pain you’ll experience.
  4. The instructor may tell you that your body can take it if you push yourself, but your body is going to tell you she’s a liar.
  5. If you want to get in the back of the class, arrive 30 minutes early.

I think I’m going to like the class when I get more comfortable with what we’re doing. Wow, it’s a lot of work, but that’s okay. Despite having to pee 4 times in the middle of the night, I woke up well rested today, and that hasn’t happened in months.

Also, ladies? When you go to bootcamp, please don’t wear giant, dangly earrings. You just look like a moron.

I’m happy I went. I’m happy I survived. I’m happy I have a weekend to walk and recover.

Oh and it food news,  I did pretty well yesterday:

Calories Carbs Fat Protien
Totals 1,138 187 54 21
Your Daily Goal 1,340 184 45 50
Remaining 202 -3 -9 29
10 Sep 2012
Categorized As: diet, fitness, Hogzilla, Motivational

Depression can be very, very sneaky. It can grab a hold of you when you least expect it…and then what do you do?

Well, if you’re me, you try to eat, drink, and sleep it off.

And then you wake up fat and dumpy slightly more curvy than expected. (And winter is coming (hur hur)…I need to be able to fit into my pants!)

WTF happened to me? I was motivated. I did a damn Half Marathon, I lost 50lbs! I survived a divorce, fell in love again, got a job…I shouldn’t be depressed!

But, sometimes your circumstances don’t have anything to do with your emotional status. Sometimes, you just wanna be in a coma sleep.

The last time this happened to me, it was after I had separated from my husband. So what did I do when I realized I was eating, drinking, and sleeping my life away? I focused my energy on diet and exercise and therapy. And wow, what a world of good that did me! Like, in just a few months, I became myself again!

So I find myself circling that drain of depression again. Financial burdens are weighing on my shoulders, my stressful work situation is agitating me, and…well, I just seem to be treading water. I’m just surviving life. And I’m not good with just surviving. I have always been fond of choosing to live. Choosing happiness. Choosing my state of mind.

And with that admission comes this…I chose to join a Beginner’s Bootcamp starting Wednesday. 9 sessions in 5 weeks.  And on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I’ll be walking…working my way back up to a run. Because I’m signing up for the Little Rock Half Marathon again.

I’m all in. I gotta be more proactive in my life. I am not going to sit around and feel sorry for myself any longer. I am choosing to engage. It’s not going to be easy. And I’m sure you’re going to hear all about it. But, with hard work and a little luck, maybe I’ll get back on track to reclaiming my awesome.

Anyone still out here? Anyone with me?

10 Aug 2010
Categorized As: diet, Hogzilla, walking

It was hotter than balls yesterday. Honestly, walking the Big Dam(n) Bridge @2:00 in the afternoon was like walking through the flames of hell with the Heat Miser on my back. Not. Fun.

So I only walked 2 miles…which is better than I’ve done in a while, but not good enough. I also did some light weights last night.

I weighed this morning…I’m 4lbs heavier than I thought I was which just makes me ill. I’m okay with being a little fluffy, but I’m pretty sure at this point I’m pushing the fluffy-envelope.

Food wise I did well. I did drink 2 bud light limes last night, but I’m okay with that. My calories were right at 1200 so it’s all good. And I had lots of water.

Tonight we’re celebrating a friend’s bday and I know wine will be involved. I will allow myself up to 2 glasses, but I’m also planning to walk or do my DVD workout afterward. Mainly because that +4 lbs is burned onto the backs of my eyelids, constantly staring at me and making me feel like a chump. Fuck you, scale. I may be a fat ass, but I’m not gonna take it anymore!

In  fun news, I downloaded a new fitness app to my iPhone. iMapFitness. It will track your miles by GPS as well as your average speed. I love gadgety stuff!

9 Aug 2010
Categorized As: diet, Hogzilla, walking

I’m starting over. I’ve gotten lazy and soft and now I have a book signing for my 2nd book (LOVE SUCKS! HarperTeen) coming up in 6 weeks and my arms look like hams and my chin is starting to double up. All because I stopped paying attention.

Sure, I have great excuses. I spent time fixing up my new casa. Cleaning, painting, and then moving. That’s exercise–right? Sure it is, if you’re not drinking beer and eating massive amounts of pizza, BBQ and cheese dip. Oh, and cheese puffs. Lots and lots of cheese puffs.

I’ve stopped my regular exercise and that just isn’t working for me. So here I am, week 1; day 1 again… My goal is 12 lbs in 6 weeks. I know that’s a tough goal, but if I hit it hard, I can do it.

I’ve started off right today. 1 pack of 100 calorie raw almonds, 1 black plum, 1 cup yogurt for bfast. Lunch is a healthy choice and a salad with some blueberries. Dinner? Not sure yet, but probably whole wheat spaghetti and salad.

I’m walking after work and I’m doing my Jillian Michaels DVD at least 3 days a week. If I do all of that, and really cut down on the empty but yummy calories (aka booze) then -12lbs should be no problem.

I’ll check back tomorrow. Wish me luck!

3 Jun 2010
Categorized As: diet, Hogzilla, walking

Okay, not exactly FLUFFY but I’m definitely getting soft. I’ve gained about 7 lbs and lost some muscle tone in the few weeks that I’ve been moving…houses not my body. If I had continued to move my body in that time, I might be hitting a new milestone right now. But I digress…

So I told CK the other day that I did better with my fitness when I was blogging here on a semi-regular basis. And even though I don’t have internet at home right now (WHAT?) I’m going to do my best to blog a day or two a week.

Here’s where I am:

I’m down from a size 16/18 to a 12 dress and a 14 pant. BUT my weight is still higher than I want it to be (and creeping back up which is a NO NO because I gave away all my fat clothes on purpose). I was walking about 25 miles a week and feeling pretty darn good about it. I had to drop my gym membership but I’m hoping to start adding that back soon.

My plan now is to walk 3-4 miles a day 3-4 days a week to start. I’d like to start back on a walk-to-run program but I can’t do that til I buy new shoes. And I can’t buy new shoes for a while, so until then, I’ll just be walking.

I’m going to add my Jillian Michaels DVD to my routine twice a week and I’ve discovered jumping on the trampoline is not only fun, but a great core and ass work out. So I’m gonna do that whenever I feel like it.

My goal is to lose 15 lbs by end of July.

I’ll report in next week!

19 Jan 2010
Categorized As: CarbKiller, diet, shout out

It seems like nowadays everyone and their mom is on the internet. With the possible exception of my mom who is on the internet but only visits three sites regularly (not including this one) and still uses AOL email. Every time I nag her about moving to gmail like the cool kids she reminds me that she has had the same email address for over 10 years and as a result has never lost track of a friend due to a changed address. 

I may be a changeling.

Regardless, one of the perks of the fabulous blogiverse is the public humiliation factor. I’ll be moving to NC for 8 weeks at a minimum and possibly through the end of May. This is both unexpected and worrisome. My joke after moving home to SoCal from Virginia was “hey it turns out I’m allergic to most of the East Coast!” Except I really…am. Now I’ll be leaving on a jet plane and kissing my occasional ability to breathe through my nose goodbye.

I don’t know who manufactures Zyrtec,  Sudafed Sinus or Puffs Plus but if you’re an investor you’ll probably be making a fortune off me. I’d invest myself but I’m broke. That should probably tell you something about how reliable my stock tips are. LOL.

Where was I?

Oh! Public humiliation!

Yes, I love public humiliation! I love it because under normal circumstances I would think:

1) I’m moving from warm to cold

2) I’m moving from dry to a place with rain and snow

3) My 24 hour fitness membership which is good in over a dozen states does NOT work in NC which means I’ll have to pay a second membership fee to join another gym.

4) I’m allergic to most of the trees, grasses and plants of the North Carolina area. I’ll be lucky if I can breathe at all much less run.


Yes, the BIG but. (No, not the Big Butt, that’s a separate blog)

But I said I am doing a marathon. So far my longest run has been 10 miles. my longest walk has been 13.1 and I’ve got another half marathon this weekend. I’ve got a LOT of training to do between now and March over all but I’m going to do it. Because while I don’t mind looking like a fool in front of friends and family I don’t really want to look like an idiot on the internet.

Is that the most ridiculous nonsensical thing you’ve ever heard? Probably.

Yet it’s true.

And the other perk of the Blogiverse?

Thanks to this blog I am now down TWO count them TWO pants sizes.

I still look like I heifer when I’m running in tights but whatever.

It’s all about the baby steps.

So thanks. {{{HUG}}}

13 Jan 2010
Categorized As: diet, Hogzilla, Motivational

Fat isn’t just a state of body, it’s also a state of mind. And it’s a scary state of mind because once you start thinking of yourself as fat, it’s VERY hard to stop thinking of yourself that way.

I can’t remember a time when I didn’t think I was fat. Even when I was a fit 135 lb athlete in high school. I was curvy. I had hips. My coach didn’t approve…so I was fat.

And I’ve been ‘fat’ ever since.

The human mind is a funny thing. 5 years ago, when I was actually at my highest weight ever–a weight that actually (according to the charts for my height) considered MORBIDLY OBESE, I didn’t SEE myself as a fatgirl. Sure, I knew I was squeezing my thighs into the sausage casings I called pants..I knew I was refusing to buy size 20 (or probably 22) clothing. But for whatever reason, when I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see FAT.

But when I looked at pictures, I couldn’t avoid it anymore.

Big Sexy

This is the fat me. The me that for whatever reason I couldn’t see when I was actually that size, but now that I’m seriously almost 60lbs lighter, this is the me I see in my head now.

It’s fucked up. And not right. And I’m trying to fix that self image with this post.

I still have those same clothes so I had someone take pics of me in them so I can see for myself the progress that I’ve made and hopefully, eventually, I’ll fix the mental image.

Am I finished? Nope. I’ve got another 30 lbs to go. But am I still the fatgirl? Kinda. In my head. But I think it’s time I overcome that, don’t you?

29 Dec 2009
Categorized As: diet, Hogzilla, walking

I’m still here.

I’m still losing.

I’m down almost 35 lbs and depending on whether I’m wearing a skirt or jeans, 2-3 sizes.  It’s amazing the difference in my body. I don’t feel that different, but when I look at myself in my pretty underwear (because I can now wear pretty underwear) I think I’m almost hot. It’s true!

I stopped trying to run and just started walking. Alot. I was averaging 20-25 miles per week. Now it’s almost too cold for me to actually walk that much, so after almost a month off, I’m heading back to the gym and pulling out my Gillian Michaels’ 30 day shred video.

Just thinking about that makes me wince. She’s a beast!

So, it looks like we’re still getting some newbies here and there. How is everyone doing? I promise to get back and blog more. CK has done an amazing job supporting this blog single handedly pretty much since spring. Plus she’s a FREAKING HALF-MARATHON ROCK STAR! Holy Moly!

Now it’s time for you guys to catch me up on what’s been going on in your worlds…

27 Jul 2009
Categorized As: CarbKiller, diet

Today’s Box Score (so far) 

1 hour rollerblading (kicked my butt)

1 hour on stationary bike (meh)

Plans include:

1 more hour on stationary bike before bed

100 situps on ab ball


Stationary bikes are the workout equivalent of celery. I don’t actually think it does anything but it’s more productive then just sitting on my butt to watch TV.