Dear New Year’s Resolution Gym Goers,
Get the fuck out of my gym. Seriously.
Now look, I’m not trying to discourage you from your fitness goal. I promise. But do you all have to go at the exact same time? Do you know what the gym smells like when every one of the machines are being used? And do you realize that the fans are blowing that stench up my nose as I’m panting my way through a 3 mile run? Do you?
And all you women who think it’s okay to wear your pretty scented lotion to cover up the smell? It doesn’t work. What it does do, is blend in with the stank of your B.O. and then the fan blows it up my nose and I start sneezing. And my eyes start watering. Then I get dizzy and fall off the machine. (Okay, that didn’t happen…but it totally will.)
Also, if you’re wearing rose or lavender? Get the fuck out of my gym. Quick, fast, and in a hurry.
That is all.
Sincerely,
Hogzilla
Tags: gym
I second the motion.
Gah. And to the 40 year old woman who is wearing her 16 year old daughters Short short Daisy Dukes and tank top: Just because you can squeeze INTO the outfit does not mean you SHOULD.
Wait- did you lose a bet? Did someone make you wear it out in public?
the woman’s jiggly thighs were rather hypnotic.
I’ll give you an AMEN for that one.
As my friend told me last night, I could just add these folks to my “People who should be Tasered” list.
Agree completely. I work out with my trainer twice a week and some ‘newbie’ stole my towel, water bottle, and sit-up mat the other day. Should’ve known, he was working out in brown dress socks and a collared golf shirt. Azzhole.
okay, the little old men who come in wearing their old men slacks, or shorts, dark socks, and polo shirts tickle me. But I don’t think I’ve seen anyone under the age of 70 in that get up at my gym.
We call them January Joiners aka Duh JJ’s….this time of year I work out at home. Seriously. I’m glad peeps wanna turn their life around but c’mon. Every January? Why didn’t you get off your ass in November? Then when they quit the Marathon Bitches (no offense to you guys but here they really are here) take over.
You made me laugh…said nearly the same to my husband this week. All the New Year’s resolution people were crowding out my gym, too! Grrrrr!